Monday, February 19, 2007

Done

I had a bad day, worthy of Fuel's "bad day" I totally broke a shoelace, and had my lipstick all over my face. Thankfully, no one noticed. I dont want your sympathy. god, how i loathe it. I just want understanding.

This may not make a lot of sense tonight, so i warn you.

I am actually practising, much as an athlete would, for a drinking contest to be held this weekend. Both of the competitors are occasional readers, and id be interested to hear their thoughts on the matter. I have mentioned this informally to both of them, but they may still not understand the gravity of the situation. We are going balls-out in a all-around drinking competition this weekend on austin's famed 6th street, to celebrate a young man's 21st, as well as a return to texas for a good friend. IN honor of such an occasion, we're gonna get shit-bombed, and If i am able to, I will start many a fight with strangers.

Now, im a bit worried that i will be a stand-out champion early on, given the competition. Here are the competitors:

1) a non-drinking, recently turned 21 year old, who uses good-nature to deflect peer-pressure. He also says "pimp" a lot.

2) a (im guessing) 120 lb. girl (including pancake nipple weight) who cant drink for shit and begins to wobble after a measly four drinks. Plus, on california prices, has been used to drinking a small amount to get mes't.

Well, they are about to get a crash course in texas drinking.

These colors don't run, baby.

I have budgeted my limited amount of money that i earn into this drinking weekend, in the hopes that i can show some Noobs a thing or two about how to do it up, big style.

Heres my workout regimen.:

As i type this, ive been doing a shot of leftover rum every ten minutes. So far, ive been writing for close to an hour, making it harder on myself to write a single sentence without going back at least three times to correct spelling errors. I hope the other competitors bring their game faces. Cause im going to x-tremes to make this a great party weekend. Why the "X" in extreme? oh, thats cause we're gonna go to a strip club too. One of those really bad ones, too. The kind you get Hpv from going to the bathroom in. Yowza!

Bad Omen of drinking sign No. 1:

Ive been laboring over this particular post for so long, drunk, that i assumed that it would be super long, and brilliant, but after re-reading, i found its quite short, and lacking in wit.

Just like me naked

BAM!

Night;

steve

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

<3

5:42 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I would donate three of my toes to be able to go drinking with the three of you this weekend.

On a side and separate note. Why does shitty beer have great marketing? It just isn't fair.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh man, am i excited...

no really, am i?

10:54 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

cause there isnt a great beer (darling strange brew) that has an excellent team (steve and greg) to make sure the advertising stays up to par with the quality of the beer inside. Until now. (several years from now when one of us makes fat cash, or has a rich, dead relative)

and, yes, adam, you are excited. sexually. cause you're about to earn a valuable lesson in drinking. and life.

10:03 PM  

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