my body is a wonderland

I think i just threw up in my mouth typing the title. Oh well, that will set the mood for this post. again, squemish need not apply.

So, i just got back from the store after getting basic toiletries that ive been putting off for some time. And i ran up a 50 dollar grocery bill from these items alone. christ.

In an effort to be more F- able to the lady-types, ive been half-heartedly working out and trying to cut back on things that kill me but i enjoy (like slamming my genitals in the refrigerator. theres nothing better on a hot day) so, in this new, slightly more vain version of myself, ive been running a fair amount, and picking up heavy things a few times, and running to the mirror to see how huge im getting. nothing yet.

but, as an added bonus, im getting my first (warranted) case of athletes foot. Actually, it might be something else, cause in most commercials for athletes foot, the sufferer's feet are ablaze. mine are not. instead, ive got a rashy thing on both feet that looks (here comes the gross part) like i have a set of cat's nipples on both feet. yeah. its like that.
so, i get my tough actin tinactin and a lot of other embarrasing remedies for a lot of embarrasing maladies, and slink home.

in two-to-four weeks, though, im going to be adonis.

really