Vs.

Oh, man. I think i made my first enemy in austin.
Well, if you dont count all the people who loathed me, and moved here.
and i dont
so heres what happened:

I was heading to work on a MAGNIFICENT-ly cold day. Everyone was freaking out, putting chains on their tires, strapping skates to their feet, and scraping their knuckles raw picking up imaginary snowballs.
I walk to a little corner store a block away from work for some coffee, bundled up with my mittens pinned to my jacket. I pay the clerk, then move outside to try to take little sips, to no real success. Then, these two drag rats (fashionably homeless) come outside who were behind me in line. They had each bought a forty of Miller High Life. As im standing there trying to put my tastebuds out, they approach me.
"hey, man, can you help us out, man?" one of them says to me.
"change? god bless." says the other.
I say to them "...didn't you guys just buy something? you had money, you just spent it"
"Change?" says the other again.
I say "No, man, im not giving you more money, you should have thought ahead"
"fuck you" goes the first
"bye" i go.
So i walk back to work (quicker than usual) and settle into my day..
for about five minutes.
Drag rat #2 comes into the restaurant, and immediately goes into the bathroom. I quickly tell coworkers about what happened. He comes out to the front counter and asks if we have any pizza laying around.
This is when i get mad. I run to the front, scream at him "No handouts for the wicked, now leave this place, you foul creature!" as i pelt him with rocks.

Heres what i actually do:
I hide in the back, and pray they dont smell my fear, and beat me up.
Like a punk.

Winner?
me, just barely.
Cause i have a a home.
and soap.

Don't mess with me, baby!