daaaamn
ok, so tonight the wheels fell off. fo realz. while i dont want to be a snivelling little punk, i think today was one of the worst days ive had in a long time. which, all things considered, is a great thing. I love my job, i sleep late, and i get drunk nearly nightly. so no complaints really.
but today was one of the first times ive been really really pissed off being at work. i arrive at 4, feeling great, i had grabbed a leisurely cup of coffee (something i never do, as coffee is for assholes) and had a great relaxed lunch. not ten minutes after i get there, a big truck lumbers into the parking lot. it goes to the side of the building and parks there. I then realize that its a septic truck, and it is coming to drain our dishwashing sink, which has been acting up and overflowing. no big deal, but itd be best if it were fixed. well, as it so happens, the same hose thats been used to clean out truck stop septic tanks is used to clean our sinks, and this powerful stench begins to foster in the back of the restaurant. now, im not the squemish type, so i let it go. but not before overtly insulting the septic tank-cleaner guy, as he asked me to sign a paper saying work had been done, and i flatly refused, since the pen he proffered kinda definitely had doo-doo on it. but, as the day grinds along, i notice the smell hasnt left the building, and is much worse then when the septic guys were there. thats when i notice that theres a big brown smudge and (!!!) a small turd sitting under our sink. thats when i freak the fuck out. i run around telling anyone who will listen (customers included, to much chagrin) that we have a code-brown, and to not go back there. i spend about half an hour dry heaving (which surprisingly makes for good ab exercise) and generally being a big fucking lady about the whole thing. not that there's anything wrong with being a lady, its just....eh, fuck it, i know i already lost the female audience with this one.
so that sucked big time, i couldnt hardly work cause i kept near-puking, and i couldnt eat or drink cause i was so sure i would get dysentary or whatever disease you get from whiffing dookie all day.
oh, yeah, i had a big booger in my nose today. all day. i was all cool, flirting with whomever had ovaries, and then i clock myself in the mirror, and boom, my powers go away.
and, lastly in girl news..
no word from girl i got number from. i am stuck between letting this be my first fish tale (the one that got away) or pushing it and calling again. the thing is, there is no subtlety in my wooing of a victim, err, girl. its either on or off. like a lightswitch. a hairy lightswitch. if i choose to pursue her, i will either end up eating a pint of haagen daazs by myself, crying and listening to jackson browne, cause she wont call back, or ill have a girlfriend who is just as crazy nutso as me, and we'll do murder-suicide cause nothing could be more perfect than our love. theres no middle ground. of this im sure.
so that leaves me little option. i guess i should root more for the smoldering-passion-sex-crime one, cause that at least nets me some make out time before i have to drink the kool-aid.
and thats really what life is all about anyway
but today was one of the first times ive been really really pissed off being at work. i arrive at 4, feeling great, i had grabbed a leisurely cup of coffee (something i never do, as coffee is for assholes) and had a great relaxed lunch. not ten minutes after i get there, a big truck lumbers into the parking lot. it goes to the side of the building and parks there. I then realize that its a septic truck, and it is coming to drain our dishwashing sink, which has been acting up and overflowing. no big deal, but itd be best if it were fixed. well, as it so happens, the same hose thats been used to clean out truck stop septic tanks is used to clean our sinks, and this powerful stench begins to foster in the back of the restaurant. now, im not the squemish type, so i let it go. but not before overtly insulting the septic tank-cleaner guy, as he asked me to sign a paper saying work had been done, and i flatly refused, since the pen he proffered kinda definitely had doo-doo on it. but, as the day grinds along, i notice the smell hasnt left the building, and is much worse then when the septic guys were there. thats when i notice that theres a big brown smudge and (!!!) a small turd sitting under our sink. thats when i freak the fuck out. i run around telling anyone who will listen (customers included, to much chagrin) that we have a code-brown, and to not go back there. i spend about half an hour dry heaving (which surprisingly makes for good ab exercise) and generally being a big fucking lady about the whole thing. not that there's anything wrong with being a lady, its just....eh, fuck it, i know i already lost the female audience with this one.
so that sucked big time, i couldnt hardly work cause i kept near-puking, and i couldnt eat or drink cause i was so sure i would get dysentary or whatever disease you get from whiffing dookie all day.
oh, yeah, i had a big booger in my nose today. all day. i was all cool, flirting with whomever had ovaries, and then i clock myself in the mirror, and boom, my powers go away.
and, lastly in girl news..
no word from girl i got number from. i am stuck between letting this be my first fish tale (the one that got away) or pushing it and calling again. the thing is, there is no subtlety in my wooing of a victim, err, girl. its either on or off. like a lightswitch. a hairy lightswitch. if i choose to pursue her, i will either end up eating a pint of haagen daazs by myself, crying and listening to jackson browne, cause she wont call back, or ill have a girlfriend who is just as crazy nutso as me, and we'll do murder-suicide cause nothing could be more perfect than our love. theres no middle ground. of this im sure.
so that leaves me little option. i guess i should root more for the smoldering-passion-sex-crime one, cause that at least nets me some make out time before i have to drink the kool-aid.
and thats really what life is all about anyway
posted by Steve at 10:38 PM
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