Girls...girls...girls
man, i totally rock at being a lame chickenshit. a girl gave me her number the other night (!) and i found a way to blow it.
I can bitch all day about how nobody wants a nice guy (untrue, just nobody wants a nice guy that looks like me)
but that aint what it gonna be.
it gonna be however, a stylistic review of my technique to date.
and any girls that ive been familiar with who may read this, (unlikely, as they number few, and tend to avoid me) i was not in fact talking about you, you are a peach and a beauty, and i never used angles.
that having been said to cover my ass, ive been far too reliant on the friend/shoulder to cry on. this one is definitely not a ploy, this is me being me; a coward who falls in love with every girl who talks to him. no joke, i had this problem for way too long. luckily now though, since i dont have too many long-term friends where im living now, i dont get the chance to fall for them in a When-harry-met-sally meets Godzilla kind of way. (the godzilla is in there to represent the crushing power of my love, in some states, its considered a lethal weapon.)
Another one that ive gotten by on (another real to me tack) is by being semi-cool-ish, and being aloof and unaware. this is also me, cause i cant flirt for shit, so i just avoid it and try to look fly. less result here, although i totally had a rockstar moment trying this one out. dont ask, ever. But this one usually doesnt work, cause there are plently of actual-cool people that girls would be much more eager to let play with their underpants.
The last one ive got is pure dumb luck. Looking back, it seems ive got a penchant for making out with older girls (if two can be considered a penchant. If thats even what i penchant is) This one is unreal to me, i suppose i should thank the planets, for aligning some goofy way and benefiting me. sometimes. Now, i like this one, cause it has a strange timing usually, ive fallen into some pretty good situations (not to brag, although my belt doesnt fit right from all the notches) The thing about this one is, you always have to keep your room clean. which is not my usual thing. Nothing kills game quicker than, "uh, yeah, lets try your place, my roomate kinda got stressed out from school and went into my room, and threw all my clothes around, and made my bedroom smell like balls... and placed a fine coat of DNA on everything...and" but shes already gone. nuts.
so these are just some weapons in my arsenal of love, or as i like to call it "weapons of ass destruction" cause i get up in them guts. fo realz. Again, if you were someone familiar with my love cannon, i am not talking about you, the time i spent with you was lovely and ill cherish it forever.
now can i please play with your underpants?
I can bitch all day about how nobody wants a nice guy (untrue, just nobody wants a nice guy that looks like me)
but that aint what it gonna be.
it gonna be however, a stylistic review of my technique to date.
and any girls that ive been familiar with who may read this, (unlikely, as they number few, and tend to avoid me) i was not in fact talking about you, you are a peach and a beauty, and i never used angles.
that having been said to cover my ass, ive been far too reliant on the friend/shoulder to cry on. this one is definitely not a ploy, this is me being me; a coward who falls in love with every girl who talks to him. no joke, i had this problem for way too long. luckily now though, since i dont have too many long-term friends where im living now, i dont get the chance to fall for them in a When-harry-met-sally meets Godzilla kind of way. (the godzilla is in there to represent the crushing power of my love, in some states, its considered a lethal weapon.)
Another one that ive gotten by on (another real to me tack) is by being semi-cool-ish, and being aloof and unaware. this is also me, cause i cant flirt for shit, so i just avoid it and try to look fly. less result here, although i totally had a rockstar moment trying this one out. dont ask, ever. But this one usually doesnt work, cause there are plently of actual-cool people that girls would be much more eager to let play with their underpants.
The last one ive got is pure dumb luck. Looking back, it seems ive got a penchant for making out with older girls (if two can be considered a penchant. If thats even what i penchant is) This one is unreal to me, i suppose i should thank the planets, for aligning some goofy way and benefiting me. sometimes. Now, i like this one, cause it has a strange timing usually, ive fallen into some pretty good situations (not to brag, although my belt doesnt fit right from all the notches) The thing about this one is, you always have to keep your room clean. which is not my usual thing. Nothing kills game quicker than, "uh, yeah, lets try your place, my roomate kinda got stressed out from school and went into my room, and threw all my clothes around, and made my bedroom smell like balls... and placed a fine coat of DNA on everything...and" but shes already gone. nuts.
so these are just some weapons in my arsenal of love, or as i like to call it "weapons of ass destruction" cause i get up in them guts. fo realz. Again, if you were someone familiar with my love cannon, i am not talking about you, the time i spent with you was lovely and ill cherish it forever.
now can i please play with your underpants?
posted by Steve at 9:42 AM
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