why i am going to hell
This is the big one. I have always joked in the past about having a first class ticket to hell for all the sinning i've done. This is all gobbledy-gook, as im not really one to believe in eternal damnation. But what i just gone and did is by-and-large one of the worst things i'll do for a while.
-i was at a bar with a friend from highschool who was visiting. It was a wednesday night, a terrible night to go to the bar to talk to people, as most bars had no more than three people in them. Eager to show him a good time, we went into the first bar that had a handfull of people in there. Well, this proved retarded as well, cause neither of us is really bar material, and didnt talk to anybody. He left to go to the bathroom, and i realized that we had wondered into the worst karaoke bar. ever. The same 5 person frat-guy/girl controlled the microphone, powering through today's top hits and yesterday's greats. Using only one note and sustained shrieks. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cough*
I get more and more aggravated, not only because i could show them a thing or two, but it becomes clear no one in this room is gonna let me touch their privates. except maybe the bouncer. But he was wearing a ring. on his pecker.
I am waiting for this friend to come out of the bathroom so we could leave. Thats when i see him. The popped-collar, Lacoste douche-bag.
AND HE'S WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE!!!!!
I wait til he passes, a bit tipsy, and stick my foot out just a bit to impede his process (my mature way of handling conflict) He however, doesnt see my foot there, and kinda catches his own foot for a second, and stumbles, but doesnt fall.
Oh, so here comes the good part.
Not 5 seconds after I punish this guy for being something i dont like, an friend of his comes and brings a dog from the back. and a small cane.
and then he gives them to the cool dude with shades. As an early christmas gift.
NOPE! I tripped a blind guy. On purpose.
Sorry, god. Sorry blind guy. But i doubt you'll see this. Maybe a friend will tell you about it.
I hope santa wasnt watching at that moment.
I love you,
always,
roughly,
til something better comes along,
superficially,
STEVE
-i was at a bar with a friend from highschool who was visiting. It was a wednesday night, a terrible night to go to the bar to talk to people, as most bars had no more than three people in them. Eager to show him a good time, we went into the first bar that had a handfull of people in there. Well, this proved retarded as well, cause neither of us is really bar material, and didnt talk to anybody. He left to go to the bathroom, and i realized that we had wondered into the worst karaoke bar. ever. The same 5 person frat-guy/girl controlled the microphone, powering through today's top hits and yesterday's greats. Using only one note and sustained shrieks. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cough*
I get more and more aggravated, not only because i could show them a thing or two, but it becomes clear no one in this room is gonna let me touch their privates. except maybe the bouncer. But he was wearing a ring. on his pecker.
I am waiting for this friend to come out of the bathroom so we could leave. Thats when i see him. The popped-collar, Lacoste douche-bag.
AND HE'S WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE!!!!!
I wait til he passes, a bit tipsy, and stick my foot out just a bit to impede his process (my mature way of handling conflict) He however, doesnt see my foot there, and kinda catches his own foot for a second, and stumbles, but doesnt fall.
Oh, so here comes the good part.
Not 5 seconds after I punish this guy for being something i dont like, an friend of his comes and brings a dog from the back. and a small cane.
and then he gives them to the cool dude with shades. As an early christmas gift.
NOPE! I tripped a blind guy. On purpose.
Sorry, god. Sorry blind guy. But i doubt you'll see this. Maybe a friend will tell you about it.
I hope santa wasnt watching at that moment.
I love you,
always,
roughly,
til something better comes along,
superficially,
STEVE
posted by Steve at 10:34 AM
4 Comments:
you're on, pancake tits!
Oh dear. I'm so happy. That's so funny!
Steve,
I'd say that i'll see you there, but I think you'll be in a much higher circle.
Love,
JJ
cause jj touches old people inappropriately. And roughly. and often.
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