Back in Black-people related stories
you all know me, i assume. You know that i like my beer cold, and my intolerence to be printed electronically.
this, however is unrelated to beer or tolerence. Here are some race-related incidents that have happened to me recently. Ill write them chronologically, for the sake of ease.
1)
BACKSTORY: The main character in this story is a guy who washes windows at my work. He only works mornings, so my dealings with him are usually very groggy, and i never seem to be able to say the right thing. He tries to fluster me with black jokes (he is black, this important(mainly to him)) He told me one of the greatest black jokes ive ever heard, which ill repeat only because we're all mature enough to handle some big issues. and its fucking hilarious.
Him: Hey, listen up, why are black basketball players so tall?
me: ......i...uh, dont think i should answer
Him: Because Their knee grows! AHAHHA
me: .......eh heh heh
Him: *glare*
If you dont get the joke at first, say the punchline out loud. to a black guy.
you'll get it. Anyway, this same guy is leaving work as im pulling up one day, with his son in his car. he rolls down the window, whispers something into his sons' ear, and his son says to me
Son: "hey, how come youre white?"
me: "well, i dont see myself as white, but rather a shade of gray, unified with the world around me, culturally, and spiritually"
That would have been nice if id said something so diplomatic and succint, but what i really said was:
me: uh.....um......well...gosh...i guess it just feels right"
WRONG! dont say that it feels right to be white. cause that makes it seem like youre not down with brown. Im met with another glare, and they drive off slowly, thinking of ways to kill my cracker ass.
2)
Next example blew my mind, and ive written about, but it makes my mind even blowner when it happened, exact same wording with a different boss, different place. I was sitting around after hours, having a drink, and drunk bosses sidle up to me, same as each time. Both of them put their arm around me (remember this is two different occurances, it just happened the same way twice) both look deep into my soul, and impart this gem of advice to me
Drunk bosses: "remember, steve, there are black people, and then theres N-words* (cleaned up for print) There is a difference."
me: "....................."
Wow, just wow, that is unbelievable, not the blatant hater-ism. that only bugs me a pinch, just the fact that there must have been a hate rally for restaurant managers in town recently, and i missed it.
...i never get to do anything fun.
this, however is unrelated to beer or tolerence. Here are some race-related incidents that have happened to me recently. Ill write them chronologically, for the sake of ease.
1)
BACKSTORY: The main character in this story is a guy who washes windows at my work. He only works mornings, so my dealings with him are usually very groggy, and i never seem to be able to say the right thing. He tries to fluster me with black jokes (he is black, this important(mainly to him)) He told me one of the greatest black jokes ive ever heard, which ill repeat only because we're all mature enough to handle some big issues. and its fucking hilarious.
Him: Hey, listen up, why are black basketball players so tall?
me: ......i...uh, dont think i should answer
Him: Because Their knee grows! AHAHHA
me: .......eh heh heh
Him: *glare*
If you dont get the joke at first, say the punchline out loud. to a black guy.
you'll get it. Anyway, this same guy is leaving work as im pulling up one day, with his son in his car. he rolls down the window, whispers something into his sons' ear, and his son says to me
Son: "hey, how come youre white?"
me: "well, i dont see myself as white, but rather a shade of gray, unified with the world around me, culturally, and spiritually"
That would have been nice if id said something so diplomatic and succint, but what i really said was:
me: uh.....um......well...gosh...i guess it just feels right"
WRONG! dont say that it feels right to be white. cause that makes it seem like youre not down with brown. Im met with another glare, and they drive off slowly, thinking of ways to kill my cracker ass.
2)
Next example blew my mind, and ive written about, but it makes my mind even blowner when it happened, exact same wording with a different boss, different place. I was sitting around after hours, having a drink, and drunk bosses sidle up to me, same as each time. Both of them put their arm around me (remember this is two different occurances, it just happened the same way twice) both look deep into my soul, and impart this gem of advice to me
Drunk bosses: "remember, steve, there are black people, and then theres N-words* (cleaned up for print) There is a difference."
me: "....................."
Wow, just wow, that is unbelievable, not the blatant hater-ism. that only bugs me a pinch, just the fact that there must have been a hate rally for restaurant managers in town recently, and i missed it.
...i never get to do anything fun.
posted by Steve at 3:33 PM
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